


Wanting

by BottomDean67



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 08:29:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16929882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BottomDean67/pseuds/BottomDean67
Summary: Jared and Jensen have a bad fight that leaves Jensen feeling like he isn't good enough for Jared





	Wanting

Jensen had thought when he went over Jared’s the other night, they were going to talk about moving in together, taking that next step.

It’d been three days since their big blow out now and outside of doing one scene together, they hadn’t spoken. Jensen was all for moving in but he liked his apartment more to be honest. He hadn’t realized he had unleashed some angry beast at the sheer mention of staying at his place.

It was such a stupid thing to fight over and honestly, Jensen didn’t even care anymore, as long as he and Jared could move past it and get back to normal.

So Jensen called up a close buddy of Jared’s to meet off set quick, to ask him if Jared had any kind of special attachment to his place that he didn’t know about or if he knew what might be a good way to make up over their fight would be.

Getting his own head ripped off was _not_ something Jensen saw coming but was pretty positive he deserved by the time he was done getting yelled at.

Had he really made Jared feel that bad? Like he didn’t care? Like Jensen was only interested because of the way Jared looked? What he could do for him?

How the hell long had Jensen missed that Jared felt that way about him?

 

Jensen got through the rest of the day on autopilot, trying to shove it down and compartmentalize his emotions. It worked until he got home and a picture of Jared laughing on his fridge snapped him back to reality.

Maybe he was an asshole for making Jared think those things. Maybe Jared was right. Maybe Jensen wasn’t the right person for him if he couldn’t be there for him the way he knew he had to be.

Jensen decided he really hated his apartment after that.

 

“Open up,” Jensen heard Jared knock on his door a few days later. He lifted his head off the couch, staring over at the door for a moment before tucking it down again. “Dude, I know you’re in there!”

Jensen didn’t move, hoping Jared would leave him alone eventually. He hadn’t spoken to him in nearly a week, spoken to anyone really. He knew he could get closed off at times and quiet, it’s who he was.

If he wanted to feel shitty about himself, at least he wanted to do it in the privacy of his own home.

But Jensen forgot he gave Jared a spare key for emergencies up until he heard the door start to unlock, Jensen hiding his face in his chest by the time it was swinging open.

“Jensen,” Jared said, the door shutting behind him, a pair of heavy boots walking in front of him. Jensen would never live this down, Jared finding him like this, pathetic and moping around. He was gonna break up with him while Jensen tried to hide away on the damn couch.

Jared sat down on the edge of the cushion, placing a gentle hand on Jensen’s head.

“What’s wrong, Jen?” he asked, running his fingers through Jensen’s hair.

Jensen stayed quiet, knowing if he risked a glance up at those puppy dog eyes he’d lose what little composure he had.

“We can stay here,” said Jared softly. “It’s just an apartment. I don’t want to lose you over this.”

Jensen had to look up so he could tell Jared how wrong he was, how Jensen didn’t deserve him, how there were a million other people out there that were far better for him.

“Baby,” said Jared, running a thumb over Jensen’s cheek, under his puffy red eyes. “Jensen.”

“I love you,” said Jensen, Jared cocking his head playfully.

“Why are you crying then, Jen?” he asked so kindly, Jensen knew without a doubt he wasn’t ever going to be good enough for this man.

“You hate me,” said Jensen, wishing he could look away and not see the flash of hurt on Jared’s face. “I made you feel…I know you think I only want you for one reason but I don’t give a shit about that. I just want you.”

Jensen would kick his own ass later for breaking down like that but if groveling meant he could keep Jared, he’d do whatever it took.

Jared couldn’t for the life of him though have had a more confused look on his face.

“Jensen. What the hell are you talking about?” asked Jared.

“The other day I went to Eric and sort of wanted to know how could I make it up to you after our fight and everything and he said some stuff,” said Jensen, Jared groaning loudly. He wrapped his arms around Jensen and gave him a tight embrace.

“I was pissed and slightly drunk and started talking about an old _ex_ that made me feel that way. I also told him that’s why you’re so amazing because even when we fight, I know you love me. I think he missed that part,” said Jared.

“You don’t hate me?” asked Jensen.

“Never,” said Jared, kissing Jensen’s temple. “Is this why you’ve been hiding from me all week? Baby, why didn’t you say something?”

“I was scared that if we talked we were over,” said Jensen, Jared nuzzling him closer.

“Sh,” said Jared. “I’m never leaving you.”

“We can live in your apartment,” said Jensen.

“No, yours is closer to work. We’re living here, okay?” said Jared, staring down at Jensen with the most loving eyes he’d ever seen on him. All he could do was nod, Jared humming quietly as he calmed Jensen down.

An hour later when they were tucked up in bed for the night, Jared watching him carefully, Jensen realized how not one of the negative thoughts that had crossed his mind ever came to Jared’s. Jared was concerned about him, he didn’t care that Jensen cried or let things get out of control in his head. He wasn’t looking at Jensen any differently other than something Jensen had felt himself over and over again for Jared.

He loved him so badly he couldn’t stand that Jensen had felt so low.

“Hey,” said Jensen, pulling Jared’s arms around him, smiling at him, a sliver of weight lifting off those shoulders. “Can we go on a date tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” said Jared, perking up. “After I spend the entire day with you that is.”

“Sounds perfect to me, Jare.”


End file.
